Thank you again for letting me know about Laura.  I found the website, and wanted to let you know how much seeing the video meant to me – it was so good to remember her laugh, and her dances!

I am so grateful to have counted myself friends with Laura.  Even now, after as many years as it’s been since we’d talked, I know we would have picked up with the same jokes, the same closeness.  She was a spectacular person with so much love to share.

I am attaching one of my favorite photos of Laura. It was taken right after she completed her first full cross-country day of three-day eventing with Jenny, and she’s walking with Peggy, describing how a particular jump went.  The expression on her face is pure Laura:  completely involved in the moment and loving the experience.

I carry Laura with me – I still have so many expressions (talk don’t cook rice…thinking never made anyone happy… just for examples) that I regularly use. I tell the “driving backwards on I-10 to get to the on ramp” story whenever I’m in a “dumb things that turned out ok” situation.  When I’m at my desk and I tilt my chin to get my neck to pop I think of Laura doing that after a study session – she would get so focused she’d forget to move – and she’s the reason I call all my pets “popper” when they need a nickname.  I’m not the only one, but I will keep the memory of that part of her life alive.  Did she ever tell you she chipped a tooth on a vitamin C tablet? I think of her whenever I take extra C during cold season…

Laura did not use the word miracle often, in fact her vocabulary was devoid of religious language. She didn’t view the world through a spiritual lens, nor did she throw around words like blessed, prayers, or faith. But while going through her papers I discovered a writing sample she composed in 1999 for an application for a speech and language  position at a public school system. We didn’t have children at that time, and she’d never been a teacher outside of a college TA, and certainly no thoughts of homeschooling had yet entered her mind.  More recently, I see her use of the word in 2022 when posting about her early work with Haskins.  I don’t think for a second that this is a reflection of some hidden spirituality. No, more likely it’s indicative of a small failure of language, in that it lacks the words to truly express the marvel and wonder that she felt about language, the brain, and science in general.

2022 On Val Kilmer’s Role in Maverick:

Speech processing and speech synthesis tech are integral to daily life as we now know it. You should know that the fundamental scientific understanding of the speech signal and the early discoveries in speech perception, production and synthesis were accomplished in large part by scientists at Haskins Laboratories. I think the precision now possible with voice technology is nothing short of miraculous if you trace the history and understand even a little about the complexity of speech. Now this tech has given Val Kilmer back his voice.

1999 Application for Speech and language Specialist:

It is easy to identify which qualities are most important in a classroom teacher. We do not need calipers or litmus paper or a microscope. No, we need only look to the classroom and its residents to find the characteristics we seek. We want our children to become skilled problem solvers, adept at clear reasoning and information processing, and responsive to changing demands. Our children’s problem solving skills are encouraged by a teacher who is an inspired thinker. We want our children to become effective communicators, skilled at listening and expression, respectful of themselves and others. Our children become communicators when they are nurtured by a teacher who ventures all modes of expression. Finally, we want our children to become pioneers, receptive to the changes and discovery that accompany growth, empowered by the miracle of learning. Our children will be inspired to become pioneers by a teacher who is passionate about learning. Looking to our children, we easily uncover the qualities we seek in our teachers, and we also uncover the qualities we most desire in ourselves.

I was on the fence about posting this video. It’s hard to watch. I made it over the past 6 months and had it on display at Laura’s celebration. It’s a collection of video from our lives, mostly of Laura being Laura. It is hard to watch and yet I’m so glad to have it. I decided it should be seen, rather than hidden away on my hard drives. We live in interesting times where we’ve had cameras and video in our lives for the past 30 years. She put light into the world and on very rare occasions she allowed someone to capture that light for the ages. I could keep telling these stories, and fumble with the right words to accurately communicate all that she embodied, but as a potential capstone to this digital memorial, it’s probably best if she just shows you herself.

Laura and I were very good friends in grad school during our two years together at the U of A from 1990-92. We came into the Linguistics Department together in August of 1990, and I was instantly drawn to her. Her smile, her ease, her insider knowledge of the U of A and of Tucson made me feel welcome and, well, happy! I soon got to know her family, including her horses, of course, and even got to celebrate Bentham’s first birthday! There were other grad students and faculty there, because of course Laura invited everyone and made us all feel like – no, understand – that it was such a perfectly wonderful reason to celebrate.) We had several cookie-decorating parties out at her parents’ house, and if we were there around a mealtime, of course we’d be welcomed to join. We also went on a caving expedition somewhere near Tucson with our good friend and other linguistics grad student Anna Ciszewska-Wilkens and her husband, physics grad student, Martin Wilkens.

Our second year of grad school, we moved in together at an apartment on E. 3rd Street. We ran together, studied together, played together. Her math background, and just her all around brilliance, as well as her skills as a teacher, helped me through our formal semantics course, where she could give me a mini introduction to formal logic that she really should have taken on the road. Murky notions became clear, and she was so generous with her time and patient with me.

She was very much a part of my own budding romance, just before she met Mike. I had come to grad school just months after I met Hugh (my husband now of almost 30 years). Laura watched me pine for Hugh and even helped orchestrate a surprise visit from him our second year, the spring of 1992. I decided to finish with an MA from U of A, and then took the next year off in Pittsburgh, PA (where Hugh was in grad school), and then finished up my PhD at the University of Washington. Laura was at our wedding in Emory, Viriginia in August of 1993, just before I moved out west, where I would remain, and she moved east, where she would remain. I actually don’t even remember who caught the bouquet, but it must have been her by the looks of it ????.

Even though Laura and I hadn’t seen each other since 1993, I don’t think, we did keep in touch by email, and I really did feel like she was a close friend, despite the time and distance. I certainly heard about Mike during those early days of dating, and how excited she was!

As so many others have said, Laura was so warm and kind and modestly brilliant – and just wonderful. I’m thinking of you all and sending love.

Kristin

Deb Keleman recorded this from London. She met Laura in grad school at the U of A and shared an apartment with her at that time. She remained a life long friend throughout Laura’s life.

I wrote some thoughts down about what Laura means to me. I never stop thinking of her and she has accompanied me on many walks over these past six months. I notice so much more as I trek along because of Laura. In our conversations her inquisitive nature and genuine desire to see things through my lens always stuck with me. She always said “oh, tell me all about it” or “please tell me what you saw”. I just loved how interested she truly was in everything that I had to say! It made me listen more deeply to others and relish their perspective.

Laura gave me a gift. She showed me what true selflessness looks like and she reminded me that no matter what is going on in our busy lives, life is just so precious. I slow down more now. I stop and take in what is in front of me and I often ask myself “What would Laura think of this?” We spent a lot of good times together as young kids but only over the last few years did we connect as adults and I will be forever grateful that I shared that time with Laura. I have never spent such a short amount of time with a friend and yet felt so known and heard as if we have spent decades sharing time together. Laura’s mind mesmerized me. She was not only brilliant but so incredibly enthusiastic about sharing her knowledge and her knowledge was so broad. There were so many things she could speak to in depth and that has become even more clear through all the stories about her on the website. The beauty of this is that she wanted everyone to share in this knowledge of hers and for all to become richer from what she had to teach. I honestly don’t know what was bigger, her brain capacity or her heart but the unique melding of the two made her incredibly special and a true gift to us all. Laura’s distinctive vibe was the best I’ve ever known – so full of energy and so full of love and such a passion for lifelong learning but having fun and taking care of each other at the same time. This vibe of hers was contagious and it will never be extinguished because of the lives she has touched and all of those lives that have picked up on her vibe and passed it along. She just had this effect on people and this growing collection of stories has confirmed that she was bigger than life and we are all better having had her in ours.

Her favorite mantra in life, Be Excellent to Each Other was one of my favorite stories posted about Laura because it really captured her character and her philosophy of life. I think of this every single day and I love that it encapsulates all that Laura was and continues to be. The fact that one person can have such an impact on how we live our lives going forward really means something special. We live in times where distractions are everywhere. Life comes at you fast and is constantly changing and it is often a challenge to keep our minds on the important things. Laura takes me back to the important stuff every single day and remembering her mantra is always a shortcut to getting there. My daughter is getting married this summer and the stress and the emotions that come with planning a wedding can turn even the most virtuous into crazed lunatics. There is a trick that I have been using to help me avoid falling into the drama filled rabbit hole and keep things light and joyful. I simply think of Laura and I repeat “Be Excellent to Each Other” over and over. I’m thinking Laura’s vibe is coming along with me to the wedding and everywhere else I go on the rest of this life journey. Laura was an amazing human full of kindness and love and hope and always wanting us to remember that everything will be alright. Another mantra (from a great song) that I’m taking along with me. Laura changed me and made me better and I will love her forever. I love you, Laura.

Jacob recorded a version of one of Laura’s favorite songs. Caitlin von Schmidt was a member of the River Roses in Tucson and her subsequent solo album included this song.

My cousin Alex wrote this note to Laura when she was in the hospital:

Dear Laura,

I wanted to write this note to share my gratitude, admiration, and love for you. My life will forever be better because you and your family are a part of it. As is often the case with friends and family who live far away, I will always wish there could have been more time together. And I want you to know how deeply I cherish the times we have shared.

I remember your trip to DC when you stayed with Greg and I. I consider it a moment where I bonded with everyone in your family. Though I must say, as a history major and former History teacher, I cannot tell you the immense joy and excitement I felt connecting with Marcus and Jared over the vast paraphernalia I had collected from my travels around the world. Finally! There was someone I could talk to (cause it certainly wasn’t Greg!) about the art of papyrus making; someone who would observe, sort, and appreciate every coin in my collection of global currency; and of course, someone who would listen to my tales of international espionage and intelligence gathering for the US government (even CIA agents need someone to confide in).

I said to Greg during your trip “I enjoy talking to Marcus far more than many of the adults in my life.” I was so grateful to spend time with your children and witness their curiosity and inquisitiveness. While some characteristics are innate to us from the day we are born, that deep desire to explore, learn, and grow from others and the surrounding world is one that I truly believe is cultivated by parents. Those moments with Marcus and Jared were in so many ways a window into understanding the amazing woman and parent you are.

I also remember Greg, Michael, Marcus, and Jared heading downstairs to the basement (I imagine it was to engage in some sort of heated Jabs/Palumbo/Rodriguez debate that we’ve so fondly witnessed at many a dinner table). You and I, for good reason, decided to stay upstairs.

We spoke about raising children—to which I could only speculate as to how I might approach it, while you were deeply living and breathing parenthood every day. I remember being inspired and amazed by the thoughtfulness and intention you put into parenting and the life you wanted to create for your children. I remember feeling hopeful during that conversation—that within a vast world we cannot control, with powerful influences we cannot change, that the decision about how we show up for our children is always within our hands. That is a lesson, from a beautiful conversation, that happened in a tiny kitchen in Fairfax, Virginia, that I have kept with me and continue to draw on as I raise my own children.

Laura—I want you to know how grateful I am that the universe brought us together as family; that we have been able to share moments of immense joy and love during weddings, the birth of children, graduations, and anniversaries; that we have supported one another to remember the incredible people who came before us and built the foundation to our extended family; and that we have witnessed—through the ingenuity of Marcus and Jared—what is looks like to make, and successfully wear, a bow tie that is made entirely out of Legos. How freaking cool is that?

Know that you are so very loved by Greg, Evie, Simon, and I…that we are sending that love to you each and every day…and that we see and feel the bright light you put into the world.

Love,
Alex

Laura loved music. She liked to sing along and dance. She appreciated it in all its forms, from the complexity of Rush to the raw fun of the Ramones; Johnny Cash to Johnny Rotten; Bob Dylan to Bob Seger, to Bob Marley. The list goes on. She was particularly fond of a group of bands and musicians that aren’t quite mainstream. You wouldn’t hear them on the radio, many of them were from the Tucson music scene in the late 80s and early 90s. The Sidewinders, The Gin Blossoms, The Refreshments, RCPM, The River Roses and Jason and the Scorchers all make up a sound I will forever associate with Laura, and as a lover of music myself, I’ll always appreciate her introducing me to them, I’d never have discovered them otherwise.

She kept exploring new music her whole life. In the past few years, she fell in love with a punk trio called the Regrettes after seeing them live twice. Colin Hay’s live show moved her. Plant and Krauss impressed her. Local bands like The Cartels, Locomotion, Lawnchair on Mars, and Mandala made her bounce. But her number one favorite band of all time was Twelve Pack of Safety Glasses, affectionately known as TPSG. Who are they? That’s the band our children formed with their friends. That’s the band she helped name and that’s the band she supported most.

Laura was always supportive of the kid’s learning music. As toddlers she took them to Music Together programs and danced with them in the house, sang songs and played with toy instruments. Marcus started piano at age 7 with his teacher Derek from his first school. Jared was gifted an old guitar from his cousin Carter at age 8. By then Derek had started his own studio and we enrolled them in voice lessons, ear training, piano, guitar, bass, whatever they were interested in. And eventually, Marcus and Jared joined Jacob and Gabe (also brothers) to form a band.

She loved watching them play.

Even with the hardship of the last few years, when they played, she’d burst with excitement. She loved their original songs. She’d rock out to them covering Linkin Park’s What I’ve Done, and stomp and clap to Queen’s We Will Rock You. They’d play Stairway and she’d say, “this is my favorite one they do.” They’d do Another Brick in the Wall and she’d say, “this is my favorite.” Three minutes later they’d go into Shut Up and Dance and she’d say, “Oh I forgot they do this one, this one is my favorite!”

But honestly the one she liked the most was The Middle. She would have loved their latest performance. They get better every time. I think she connected the lyrics to parenting and encouraging kids to shine, I think she saw them shine in those moments on stage.  But mostly I think she saw them having fun. She saw the unbridled joy they felt when playing that song and she knew she’d succeeded in sharing with them her love of music.

The first cell phone we ever owned was an Ericsson T10. We bought just one and shared it. Back then these phones had a small monochrome display that could only show a few lines of text. They had the ability to display a custom message on the screen, presumably to allow you to differentiate one from another. I remember trying to decide what to put there when Laura suggested Be Excellent to Each Other. In case, you’re either too old or too young, Be Excellent to Each Other is the first part of the foundational Mantra of the great philosophers Bill Preston Esquire and Ted Theodore Logan, more commonly known as Bill & Ted of the 80s classic Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

Laura lived by that mantra. Whether you’d just met her or knew her for years, you were treated with kindness, warmth, and good humor. Whether she’d asked you to join her on an adventure or stay for dinner, she exuded optimism, hope, and positivity. She believed that you get back what you put out to the world, so being excellent to her fellow humans and engaging with the world was the way to foster connectedness and community, and create a positive environment for herself and everyone in her life.

Eventually we got separate phones, but with each new phone, she would customize the message this way. Sometimes they had character limits forcing her to come up with alternate spellings, like vanity plates for cellphones, but she always found a way to work it in there. It served as a daily reminder (we used to turn phones off at night and on again in the morning) to be kind, and not just be a good person, but be good to other people. She kept this up until the advent of smart phones when the feature died out, but she still managed to infuse it wherever she could. When she ordered her road ID for long distance running, there was an extra line available, and there it was. The purpose of the Road ID is to communicate the most crucial information if the bearer is unable to communicate. Who she is, who you should call, and anything else she deemed important enough to etch into metal for all eternity. In this format, it wasn’t so much a reminder for herself, but rather a wish for those reading it: Be Excellent to Each Other.

As I said, Laura wore many hats, figuratively and literally. Here’s a collection of her wearing hats. Putting on hats always made her smile, almost as much as sunflowers did.

I think it’s pretty obvious that Laura wore many hats. Mother, wife, sister, aunt, daughter, scientist, equestrian, runner, teacher, friend, kevachick…the list goes on. But it was the role of teacher that caused her to wear more hats than you can imagine. Fifteen years ago, with our firstborn on the cusp of kindergarten, we realized he needed something different than what was offered in public school. We enrolled him in Montessori schools and that seemed to be a good fit, until about half way through first grade. He’d been asking about the big ideas all through kindergarten and was told they start in first grade. He was disappointed when that didn’t seem to happen. “Where are the big ideas?” he’d asked. He was talking about science and engineering, a passion he’d had from early on. We wanted to support him in his pursuits, and the schools we had access to didn’t have the resources he needed, and most importantly, we wanted to provide him with an education that didn’t squelch his love of learning. We wanted learning to be something we do all the time, not just in school, and we wanted school to make learning enjoyable.

People home school for lots of different reasons, the term itself isn’t even definable as one thing. It’s like saying we do winter sports. Ice skating is not the same as luge, skiing, or bobsledding. We didn’t know much about it at the time, but we were aware of a rising number of secular home schoolers in our area creating academically rigorous opportunities, and further investigation revealed that the laws in our state were such that we could curate educational curriculum and opportunities, and effectively produce our own eclectic private school.

It was a big decision. It meant one of us would have to put off career goals and be the head of school, primary teacher, bus driver, field trip chaperon, curriculum developer, and resource manager. It was a scary prospect in many respects, but we took the leap thinking we were equipped enough to at least try it. Over the course of 15 years, there were times we’d ask ourselves if we were on the right path or if we’d made a mistake (see homemade flame thrower photo), but ultimately, it’s a decision I will never regret. More than just an educational structure, it became a fundamental part of our daily lives and fostered strong connections within our family. It became a lifestyle.

Robert Frost’s The Road Not Taken is often misinterpreted as being about choosing the hard path and being better for it, when it’s really about either path being about the same and looking back thinking erroneously that your choice made a difference. It’s about our human tendency to retroactively validate our choices simply because we persevered. Maybe that’s what I’m doing now, I don’t know, but what I do know is that Laura got to see Marcus graduate from our home school high school, get accepted to nine universities, and receive significant merit scholarships from each of them. She saw him off to his chosen school and saw him thrive and succeed in his first term, where he earned a 3.9 GPA and made the Dean’s List. She saw Jared win a full scholarship for a creative writing program, and enjoyed original music he’s written and performed.

With all due respect to Robert Frost, that road we chose—it has made all the difference. Laura made all the difference.

I met her on Valentine’s Day. Well sort of. Laura and I actually met sometime in the few days after Valentine’s Day of 1993. We could never remember the exact date. Whenever we tried, we could only recall that it was just after Valentine’s Day, and eventually we just started marking time by saying it was Valentine’s Day. We knew it wasn’t, but it was just easier to remember and easier to say when people would ask how we met. When people asked that, she was fond of telling people that I called her a Nazi. “How did you met?” they would ask. “Oh Mike called me a Nazi,” she would say. As opening moves go, calling someone a Nazi never results in a date. Well almost never.

Let me explain.

I was in college and working a student job over the intersession in the child labs at UCONN, a kindergarten and preschool on campus. I was basically a teachers aid. Laura had just arrived to do a visiting semester as a linguistic graduate student and her and the other grad students would be using the children to gather research data. They were introduced to us as a group, and I couldn’t help but notice Laura’s stunning blue eyes. Their experiments consisted of “playing games” with the children using certain toys to create certain scenarios that they could quiz them on after, in the hopes of eliciting certain language constructions from the child. Their process went something like this:

They would arrive in the classroom and fan out, identifying subjects and asking if they wanted to play together. Doing that in the class made the child comfortable and more likely to say yes when they would ask if the child wanted to play another game in another room. The building had special research rooms where they can take a child and conduct experiments privately, in a controlled environment with two-way mirrors for observation. The focus of the experiments was a pronoun issue in English called Donkey Anaphora. I don’t pretend to understand it, but the classic example for which it is named is: Every farmer who owns a donkey beats it. After years of hearing about donkey beatings, I concluded the field of Linguistics is obsessed with cruelty to farm animals, but I digress.

One day as I was leaving the classroom, I passed by one of these rooms and the door was open. Laura sat inside doing some paper work, having just finished with an experiment. The kid had returned to the class and Laura had left the door open while she made notes. Intrigued, I popped my head in and said, “I always wondered what went on in here.”

Her smile lit up and she said, “You have?”

I’d seen her and the other grad students in the classroom, but never spoke to her before. With her blue eyes, blonde hair, and Doc Marten combat boots on her feet, I don’t know why this jumped to mind, but I said, “Yeah, you and your colleagues come in, fan out, and then kids disappear. It’s like you’re Nazis.”

“Wanna get some coffee sometime?” she said, her unflinching blue-eyed expression bore no note of offense, in fact, her unfailing smile suggested she hadn’t really heard me at all. I’m sure there was more to the conversation but neither of us were very smooth. I said yes, even though I didn’t drink coffee. And in the coming days I mistakenly thought that maybe, just maybe my stupid blunder had gone unnoticed or at least would get lost over time. But no, you don’t overcome calling a girl a Nazi and not have to revisit it from time to time. Laura never missed an opportunity to remind me when the subject came up.

One of the last nurses to take care of Laura in the hospital remarked about her eyes when she first saw her too, “Ooooh what pretty blue eyes!”  Yeah, I’ve been captivated by them for 30 years.

Laura was a runner, hiker, kayaker, and all-around nature enthusiast. Her upbringing in Tucson instilled in her a great love of the desert and the mountains, and her passion for running emerged from her Cross Country Team in high school and she shared that passion with her father and brother. She ran 5Ks, 10Ks, and half marathons, and never let more than a day or two go by without running at least four or five miles. She even convinced our son Marcus to join her on a 5K run, and her smile shows just how happy that made her.

By the time I met Laura, she’d already spent time at Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, and various other places out west. She’d hike up Mt. Lemon or Sabino Canyon with her friends and family, or explore the Saguaro National Park where the Saguaro Cactuses can be over 100 years old. After moving to New England, she’d often lament the fact that she couldn’t see mountains or even the horizon with all the trees in the way. One year she went to an academic conference in Boulder Colorado. She came back with a postcard of the scenery there. She stuck it on the fridge and said, “If you ever come home and I’m gone, you can find me here.” That postcard lived on our fridge for over a decade.

But eventually she developed an appreciation for the woods, we explored Old Growth Forests of CT, the wooded mountains of the Berkshires in MA, and hiked up wooded mountains in ME. She and the kids joined other families for annual hikes up Mt. Monadnock in NH, and routinely trekked through the local trails and parks across New England. Each adventure brought with it an exploration of the biology, ecology, geology, and history of the area. Whether it was Torrey Pines growing the way they do because of their unique environment, glacier activity sculpting parts of New England, the effects of volcanic activity in Sunset Crater National Park, the erosion in canyons and the shoreline, or animal habitat affected by human activity, Laura was always able to sus out the educational opportunities wherever the path lead.

And then there was the ocean. Trips to Block Island, Cape Cod, San Diego, Newport, Florida, and Maine fostered in her a deep reverence for the ocean. Boogie boarding, sailing, beachcombing, walking in the surf, exploring tide pools, and relaxing on the beach were staples of her coastal experience. Multiple trips to San Diego ended with the two of us sitting on a bench by the boardwalk on the final night of our stay, watching the sunset over the ocean and listening to the waves roll in, simultaneously saying goodbye to the Pacific for another year, and reflecting on our life together—the year behind us, and the one ahead.

On her bookshelf at home, alongside a memento of motherhood and our wedding candles, Laura kept a jar of Coronado sand.

Our son Marcus showed an interest in science and engineering at an early age, and so our family frequented science museums. It was at one around 2009 that Laura and Marcus discovered Keva planks. These 4.5-inch maple blocks are precision cut such that each is exactly the same size and weight. That’s it. They don’t lock together like Legos, they don’t have special parts for different functions like other building sets, and yet the sheer amount of things you can do with them is only limited by your imagination and the number of planks you have. Laura bought some for Marcus, a single bag of about 200 planks. Of that early experience, she eventually wrote:

The other day I walked into my son’s room to marvel at whatever he was doing besides getting ready for the day, and I commented on a simple but gravity-defying block creation he had next to his bed. “What’s that?” I asked. “Oh, I was just doodling,” he replied. Doodling. It had never crossed my mind that one could doodle in 3D, but there it was. Doodling is the mind seeking creativity while it is occupied with other things, and it is through this kind of accidental, non-goal-directed play that some wonderful discoveries are made.

Laura found herself experimenting with the Kevas and eventually registered the email address kevachick@gmail.com. She designed and delivered a series of classes for different age groups that allowed kids to explore and learn basic engineering concepts related to weights and forces. As demand for her classes increased and the enrollment and sessions increased, the collection grew. More sessions for homeschool coops—need more Kevas. Sessions for Karate students—need more Kevas. Summer camps, church groups, birthday parties—Kevas, Kevas, Kevas! She amassed a collection of over 3000 Kevas and turned so many kids on to the idea that that you could play with learning, experiment with building, and create with whatever materials you had on hand.

Laura was never more compelled to the teaching facet of her life as she was when she was teaching with Kevas. She saw something in the way kids play with them that presented an opportunity for both educational and creative play, as well as a family bonding opportunity, and she sought to make those opportunities happen for as many kids and their parents as she could.

The Keva classes I lead are an open opportunity for young people and their parents to spend a bit of time doodling–learning, exploring, and creating in an environment that values discovery, innovation, and risk-taking. Come build with us and see what you will create.

Ten years ago I was looking for something new for my homeschooling kids and found Laura’s Keva class. I knew right away this was something special – and so was Laura. She became my good friend and my homeschooling partner.

We collaborated and inspired each other, spending hours walking in the woods while our kids ran around in nature, or staying for the afterparty at the Lutz, sitting around at the picnic tables while our kids created games on the climbing structure, sharing our lives and planning the homeschooling lives of our kids.

I’m grateful to have shared those years with Laura. Grateful for all that Laura taught and inspired in my kids. Grateful that our families were able to share so much. And grateful that she brought her kind boys into our lives.

Every group she joined, every activity that her boys took part in, benefitted from Laura’s enthusiasm. She became devoted to making each experience even more special for every kid there. Do we really need 300 homemade chocolate roses for every Shakespeare play? A full display board for Share Day, with photos of every child in each of her classes? I suppose not. But these things Laura created made each child feel celebrated and encouraged, and helped to build our supportive community.

When I want to remember her at her most joyous, I picture her with her big smile and bubbling excitement, singing her name to the tune of Copa Cabana: Lau-ra, Lau-ra Pa-lumbo!

My dad said I should be a doctor, but that sounded like hard work, so I married one instead.

Seriously though, Laura was an exceptionally smart person. She was a straight A student in HS and college, where she earned a BS in Mathematics, but she also enjoyed science, language, psychology, and the whole learning process. And when it came time decide what to pursue in grad school, she famously made a decision in the shower: Linguistics is the combination of all those things, and it has the added bonus of being a fairly new field, compared to other sciences, and so there’s lots of room for discovery.

She started at the University of AZ and while visiting UCONN for a semester, decided to make the move permanent. UCONN’s department was run by a linguist who had studied with Noam Chomsky, the father of modern mainstream linguistics. Part of her studies here included weekly trips with other students to sit in on Chomsky’s lectures at MIT. She studied semantics and child language acquisition (how the brain learns language) and earned her Masters, and then her PhD. Her dissertation, Excavating Semantics, examined the theory and acquisition of discourse-bound pronouns, developing ideas of dynamic binding.

Yeah, I don’t know what that means either, I copied from the departments website. But I went to her dissertation defense and she kicked if off by presenting an orange and warning the scientific community that the brain was similar and while you can make assumptions about what’s inside based on what you see outside (texture, color, structure, etc.), it may not actually work that way. She peeled open the orange to show how different it was on the inside and proceeded to eat the slices while delivering her presentation. She was effectively saying, we have such limited info, let’s leave room for the possibility that we could be wrong. I thought that was incredibly brave of her.

She went on to work at Yale Medical School and then Haskins Laboratories as a researcher, publishing papers with Don Shankweiler and other colleagues on language processing, the effects of stroke on language production and what that can tell us about the brain and it’s capability for language, and eye movement as it pertains to reading language.

Her final project was to generate the index to Language and life: Haskins Laboratories’ first half century, which came out this past summer. Donald recruited her to the project (if I may paraphrase) because her breadth of knowledge on the expansive subject matter made her the ideal person to understand what should and shouldn’t be cross referenced, and when certain concepts and ideas were referenced at various points using different terminology, someone had to know the material well enough to know they were the same thing. It was a monumental project, and she applied the same level of effort and expertise to it, as she had every other endeavor she attempted. I’ve always been extremely proud of her academic work, and grateful for the exposure to her intellect and the benefits that it brought to my life and our family.

Laura loved the outdoors and in recent years enjoyed exploring the upper reaches of Maine where my parents have a lake house. She enjoyed the solitude and the wildlife. Her illness made travel very difficult, but she was adamant that we make one more trip in August of 2022. She spent time canoeing and kayaking and reading on the deck, and every night she watched the sun go down from the dock.

Oh my gosh. I am so grateful we have all these pictures. Laura Palumbo was definitely always up for a good adventure (driving around in the dark with no street lights on windy curvy roads in the middle of nowhere looking for somewhere to watch a meteor shower immediately comes to mind) and good energy was ever in abundance. And the thing about Laura was that she was one of those rare people who truly lifted you up, not by being self-effacing or falling back on vague truisms, but because she genuinely and authentically believed in the very best of us all. And because of this, more often than not, we rose to the challenge and became our best selves with her. Because when someone can look inside you and see the best of you, how can you resist letting that best self out to play? Love you dearly, my friend. Now and forever.

I just wanna go on more adventures. Be around good energy. Connect with people. Learn new things. Grow.

I found one other downloaded quote on Laura’s phone, and while I recognize that it’s a fairly popular one, it easily could have been something she said, particularly the part about being around good energy and connecting with people. Laura treated her friends like family. Here’s a collection of her soaking up good energy and connecting with friends, often during some adventure.

Laura was always so modest about her accomplishments. She and I both grew up with horses, riding, etc. and we talked about it often. Horses were an important part of my story, I don’t know who I would be without them, but I was no expert horsewoman. Most of my horses growing up were discarded backyard horses and I never did much beyond local shows and trail riding. Laura knew that, but whenever we talked horses, she talked like I was equal to her. I had no idea how accomplished she was. One day, she came to visit and brought a photo of her jumping this massive fence and I was floored. I shouldn’t have been, of course, because Laura always did everything all the way and then some. But even after that day, once I had the full picture of her experience and skill, she kept right on treating me like the horse expert. Someone would have a horse question and she’d say “Amy knows horses. You should ask Amy!”. It always made me laugh, how absurd!! She had a way of having more confidence in me than I ever did in most things. She made me a better person, a better parent, a better teacher and I am so grateful that I was lucky enough to know her.

I loved watching her fly.  She had a reputation for being able to work with horses that are difficult or even dangerous (which explains how she could be so patient with me 😉  Watching her on horseback, one was instantly aware of her competence, confidence, and unbridled joy.

I found some quotes on Laura’s phone that spoke to her enough that she saved them. I think the Dahl quote goes quite well with my new favorite photo of her, shot by Shelley Wurst. The other goes well with one of the only photos of kevachick (her gmail handle) working with the keva blocks. I have years worth of photos of keva classes, but she was always the one taking them, never in them.

I was shocked and deeply saddened to hear of Laura’s death on Sunday. I know Laura would not want people to dwell on the injustice of such a brilliant life cut short by cancer; she would want a celebration of the life she lived.

What I remember most about Laura was her laugh. It was singular and infectious. I recall cleaning tack and laughing. I recall walking cross-country courses and laughing. I recall her comforting me after a fall and her laughter as she helped me clean my cuts. She turned the focus from pain and humiliation to the value of the learning experience I had just endured and reminded me that TJ was a wonderful soul with the best intentions.

Laura could ride the horses everyone else thought were lost causes. I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 13, “Love is patient, love is kind…,” because this was how Laura approached riding. In fact, it was how she approached every aspect of her life. Pride was “difficult,” and Jenny was “dangerous,” until Laura showed them love and kindness. In her hands they became brilliant.

I don’t believe one could know Laura and remained unchanged. Quietly, kindly, Laura encouraged everyone to be stronger, braver, more loving versions of themselves, and to find humor and joy in every experience.

When Laura discovered Linguistics, she changed her entire career plan. This was an extremely difficult decision for many complex reasons, but Laura was not deterred because she knew her mind and she trusted her instincts. Laura was not afraid of difficulty, she was not afraid of hard work, and she was not afraid of anything that might impede her pursuit of what she believed in and loved.

Laura’s successes were greater because she freely shared them. I believe she saw her many achievements as meaningful because she could use them to help others. She was the rare individual who said to anyone, to everyone, “My success is also yours, take my hand, let me help you…”

I deeply regret losing touch with Laura after she moved to Connecticut. I got news of her death just before I was to give my last final of this semester. I sat in my car and cried while the Taco Bell Party Pack I was bringing for my students slowly cooled in the passenger seat. Of course, I called my mom and left a tearful, disjointed voicemail, then composed myself and went to class.

Education in the time of COVID is much more about providing a safe place for young people to make sense of their abruptly and completely changed world than it is about meeting the course learning outcomes. We didn’t really have a final. Instead, my students and I talked about plans for the future and the fun we had this semester. When the conversation allowed, I took the opportunity to tell each of my students how much I had seen them grow and how hard I knew they had worked this semester. The class concluded with an in-depth discussion on how to make exquisitely moist, flavorful cupcakes. The secret, apparently, is allowing the batter to sit in the refrigerator for two days so the flavors can develop and blend…

I believe this is what Laura would have done in a similar situation and I took inspiration from that. I didn’t try to hide my grief or explain it. I didn’t need to, it was where I was that day and everyone accepted that.

Laura, I learned that from you. Thank you. I love you.

Laura Palumbo was one of the most open people I’ve ever had the privilege to meet. To start off, her face was open — her wide smile, her eyes — they invited you to share with her in the joy of life. Also, her ears were open — Laura always wanted to know more, to hear more, to learn more.

One of the topics Laura wanted to learn more about in recent years was lower-waste living and awareness of our ecological footprints on Earth. She was a big proponent of buying in bulk and storing items in glass jars saved from the recycle bin. As a Texas farm girl and a daughter of Arizona, she knew how not just how to “make do” but how to make things better.

For Marcus’s graduation party in 2022, Laura made a massive effort to throw a big, celebratory bash with the smallest environmental footprint possible. Her strategy involved working with many friends, who helped in party planning and lower-waste options; contributed reusable dishware, glassware, cutlery, and linens; brought drinks in recyclable containers (aluminum is better than plastic!); and — so importantly — hand-washed all the dirty dishes and cutlery between the main course and dessert so that guests would have items back again for use.

Outside the party tent, there were basins for guests to put used plates, cutlery, and glassware in, hampers to collect dirty napkins, containers to hold recyclable items, a compost bin to collect uneaten food (shrimp shells!), and — the pièce de resistance — the tiniest possible trash can (I think it was only a foot tall…!). In making these efforts, even through illness, Laura was showing us the importance of celebrating Marcus’s educational achievements and her family’s educational model, in addition to the importance of reducing our environmental footprint for the sake of future generations, such as for Marcus and Jared and beyond.

I loved talking to Laura about important sustainability goals, in addition to so many other, meaningful topics, but one of our particularly fun points in recent conversation was…penguins. Early in Laura’s cancer battle, she made an offhand comment about liking penguins, and well, that just opened the door for Laurel and me to shower Laura with penguins and for her to do the same for us. Not only was there a near-constant stream of penguin GIFs in our threesome’s text thread, but there were stuffed penguin toys, penguin socks, a penguin snuggle blanket, a penguin kitchen timer, and even a photo of penguins on the coast of Argentina, personally signed by nature photographer Keith Ellenbogen to us three — the PLT, the Penguin Love Trio.

Laura, I’m grateful for your love and for your guidance, for your ear and for your words. Your love is in my heart, and each day, signs of you pop up all over my kitchen: the utensil crock, the kitty tea towel, the flannel “non-paper towel” roll, the beautiful mug, and of course, the penguin timer. You inspired so many of us in countless ways, and I love you always. #PLT4ever

Mike, Marcus, and Jared,
The boys and I send our deepest condolences, prayers, and support for the loss of Laura.

Marcus and Jared, one of the things I loved most about your Mom was her devotion and attentiveness to each of you. When you were both little, I remember having a long conversation with your Mom about parenting. We talked about giving our kids time to play and find their joy. We watched all of you running around and playing as we chatted and we were both thankful. And we found friendship that day while talking about being the best we can be for our families. I remember the conversation all these years later because your Mom was so genuine and filled with joy and love for her family. It was an honor to be her friend and to see you both grow into the awesome humans that you are.

Mike, I think about Laura every day as I work with my students. Not long ago, she gave me some beautiful books and resources for me to use with my dyslexic students. Although she was no longer working in the field of linguistics, she carefully chose a home for her resources in hopes that they would continue to help others. I treasure them, as do the children who benefit from her generosity.

Laura led a meaningful life filled with love and she is forever a blessing to all who knew her.

With deepest sympathy,

Did a lone dawn ski Tuesday. As I saw the view, I thought to myself, I really should share this with Laura. Sending Peace and Love from us.

November is filled with memories of Laura. I’ve hosted Thanksgiving at my house for decades, and since 2010, our core Thanksgiving crew has been the Baleses, the Palumbos, and us, with additional friends and family joining us across the years. Every October, Laura, Elizabeth, and I have the conversation that begins with, “We need to talk about Thanksgiving.” And talk we do, coming up with the menu and timing of all the things, which over the years has settled into a familiar pattern.

Each Thanksgiving brought new memories and additions (veggie turkey platter, anyone?) as well as the tried and true things that we all love, not to mention a variety of interesting stories involving frozen turkeys, blue plaid shirts (or was it green?), and turkey broth (aka the elixir of life). And because I’m the record-keeper, I can trace things back to the very beginning.

In 2012, things got even more interesting, because that was the year that Laura said, “I can bring spinach-artichoke dip,” and we foolishly (or perhaps presciently) said, “Yes, please! That sounds amazing. We can eat that while we’re waiting for the turkey.” Little did we know it, but that was the year that Dip Day was born, although it didn’t get its official name until several years later (it was called Artichoke Day for a couple of years). Because you see, like everything that Laura makes, that spinach-artichoke dip is the stuff that angels dream of, and we spent so much of our gastronomic resources consuming it that there was no room left in us for the turkey. I still remember the moment that Elizabeth and I turned to Laura and told her that she was banned forever from bringing that dip to future Thanksgivings, but that she absolutely had to make it again the next year, and we would come to her house the day after Thanksgiving and eat it.

So, beginning in 2013, the Friday after Thanksgiving was spent at the Palumbos’ eating an assortment of dips, with Laura’s spinach-artichoke dip holding pride of place in the middle of the table. Over the years, Dip Day garnered a loyal following of several families, inspired its own logo and t-shirts, and has become a legendary event among our friend group, with its very own spin-offs.

At its core, Dip Day is about the deep connections among friends that require us to spend as much time together as humanly possible, while celebrating those ridiculous moments that make us laugh and creating our own rituals to further connect us together along the way. The fourth Thursday in November is a time when I find myself reflecting on so much historical and continuing pain and grief. As I do so, I feel the need to gather my loved ones close, to shore up my soul with love in order to process all of those big emotions. This past year especially, knowing that Laura was unable to be with us in person, I found myself more grateful than ever for my chosen family, those people that have shown me time and again how much I am loved and valued, and for whom I have done the same. These are the people that ground us and allow us to walk through this world with equanimity. Our Thanksgiving and Dip Day traditions are ones that soothe our hurts and nurture our souls, and Laura will forever be a part of these for us all.

Our Typical Thanksgiving Menu:

Turkey (hopefully not frozen – Laurel)

Cornbread-Mushroom Stuffing (Laurel)

Grandmama’s Sweet Potato Casserole (Laurel)

Mashed Potatoes (Elly)

Turkey Gravy (Elly)

Rolls (Elly)

Green Beans w/Slivered Almonds (Laura)

Veggie Platter in Shape of Turkey (Laura)

Usually some kind of Extra Side Dish, which varied (Laura)

Lemonade or Apple Cider (Laura)

So. Much. Wine. (varied)

Apple Pie (Elly)

Pecan Pie (Elly)

Pumpkin Pie (when we got lucky – Elly)

Ice Cream (Laurel)

Marie Callender’s Chocolate Pie (Laura)

Whipped Cream (Laurel)

A Typical Dip Day Menu:

Spinach-Artichoke Dip (Laura)

Lasagne Dip (Elly)

Cinnamon Cream Cheese Dip (Laurel)

Meatballs (Laura)

Seven-Layer Dip (sometimes)

A whole lot of other stuff brought typically by the Connors, the Wursts, and others

My story with Laura starts back in the 1960’s when our parents met through Graduate School at U of Arizona and became best friends for life.  I have the fondest childhood memories of our time with the Conway’s and the friendship and bond that our parents shared was both inspiring and enviable.  As kids Laura and I shared great times together when our families had reunions.  Our parents continued to meet up regularly throughout their lives never letting distance weaken their strong friendship commitment.  Through them we kids always kept up with each other but it wasn’t until January of 2020 that Laura and I reunited as adults in Tucson.  We gathered at Marcus and Bill’s place for dinner and from that day on Laura and I stayed in touch and began a new chapter vowing to carry on with the beautiful friendship that our parents started all those years ago.  For nearly three years we enjoyed each other via emails, phone calls and texts sharing stories from our childhood days, catching each other up on our kids’ lives and talking a lot about our parents, spouses, friends.   Never have I felt such a strong connection with a friend in such a short amount of time.  Even though we had our family history and already knew each other it was Laura and her ability to draw a person in that launched our new found adult relationship.  When we talked Laura was so sincerely interested in all that was going on with me and my family and so eager to tell me about hers that it was like immersing in a really good book.  I could not wait for the next page, the next chapter and I hoped that book would never end.  Laura was someone that listened with her whole self and when you told her something she never forgot what you said. In fact, she referenced it later in another conversation intertwined in such a way that you felt so heard and so valued and a smile spread across your face – a smile almost as big and bright as yours, Laura.  But not quite because I have never seen a brighter, more beautiful smile – one that lit up your eyes and formed dimples so big I swear it made me smile bigger just thinking about it!  And the truth is I had seen that smile before as it is the same smile Laura’s mother had and it lit up the room!  I believe this smile is so telling of Laura’s overall personality – full of love, light, compassion, spirit, and joy.  When Laura was fighting her battle with cancer I told her that she was a Warrior.  She was my Warrior Friend.  She fought courageously, she never gave up and she never complained.  She was more concerned about everyone else and she was such a positive and brilliant soul.  She told me once that she didn’t always feel like a Warrior but she liked the idea of at least trying to attain the title.  Well Laura, not only were you a Warrior you taught us all what the fight should look like and you walked through your toughest battle with dignity and a love for others like I have never seen.  You are and will always be my Warrior Friend.  Thank you for the blessing of knowing and being a part of you and your family and for being such a gentle but strong and kindhearted force – you left the world a better place.  Laura, our hearts are broken and filled with sadness but they are also full and beaming and richer because you are in them forever.

Wow so sorry to hear this. I have fond memories of keva blocks at the lutz and her wonderful smile. Emma remembers building cantilevered structures with her guidance. She was a gentle soul with all the kids she mentored

I simply cannot think of any face of Laura but the one with a big smile.

I’m so sorry and so saddened to hear this! She was an amazing woman, I have so much respect for her…the way she was with her family, how she treated everyone she met, and how smart she was. Such a beautiful soul. My heart goes out to you and the kids and everyone who was close with her.

Mike, Marcus and Jared, we send our deepest condolences. We’re so blessed for Laura’s presence in our lives. Our thoughts are with you, wishing you peace.

Oh this makes me so sad. I had so many good times with Laura from 1990-92 in Tucson. She was my roomie that second year at UofA Linguistics and made everything better. I would have probably failed semantics without her tutorials on lambda calculus! So many good memories – visiting her family’s wonderful house in the desert, going on runs together, getting to know her horse Bentham, being buoyed by her wonderful smile, and of course doing problem sets together make me smile through my tears today

You have our sympathies and prayers. The obituary and tributes are eloquent and just simply beautiful. What a legacy she leaves, In so many ways. Love the photos. I’ve known Laura and you for 30 years and yet I still learned some thing from the tributes. What an amazing soul.

She was an amazing mom and woman and I admired her greatly. She introduced my family to Keva planks at the Lutz and over the years she inspired me in other ways with homeschooling. The last couple years I had reached out about my youngest and she was so giving with connecting and ideas. Most recently, I shared with her a friend’s sweet picture of her little child building with Keva planks the ones my own kids used that I had given her. So many people will have been touched by Laura’s life directly and indirectly for years to come.

Laura was absolutely a lovely woman and I loved connecting with her over the years: from homeschooling, to dyslexia, building with Keva planks and more. She will be greatly missed. To her husband and boys my heartfelt condolences and to all who knew and loved her. May you find comfort and peace, love and support.

Laura Palumbo, thank you for all you shared with the world! Thank you for introducing Keva planks to my family (and so many). These little wooden planks taught so many life lessons and helped smooth a major transition in my family, perhaps why I will forever hold your memory in my heart. This month we passed our Keva planks onto another family with little ones to enjoy; may your legacy continue to grow.

We are beyond sad to hear this news – you have our love – we are are here in whatever you and the boys need. Very blessed to have known her. And continue friendship with the family.

Absolutely beautiful write-up and pictures. I took a hike in the woods today and talked to Laura. We always said we were going to go for a hike but life kept getting in the way.  So many times we would see each other and say “we still need to do that hike!”

Thank you, Mike. This is a beautiful tribute. Laura was one of a kind and one of my favorite people.

So sorry. My thoughts go out to you and Marcus and Jared. Laura was brave. Also I know she was proud of you and the boys as you supported her in her unrelenting illness.  It has been a great privilege for me to know Laura. I will always be grateful to her for making my life brighter and our shared  work go better.

Don

There are people in this world who you know from the moment you meet them are incredibly special. Laura Palumbo was one of these; she was an amazing woman who elevated all with whom she came in contact. The first thing many people noticed about Laura was her incredible intelligence. She thought deeply and loved to engage with big ideas. But, as gifted as she was as a thinker, it was Laura’s heart that defined her. In a world where it can be easy at times to become hardened, Laura shone brightly. She spread joy.

Laura loved her two sons, Marcus and Jared, and her husband Michael fiercely. They were her everything. The last time I saw Laura when she was in the hospital she was worried about “her boys.” I told her that our whole community would envelop them with our love. Michael, Jared and Marcus, I know I speak not only personally but also on behalf of our entire community when I say how incredibly sorry we are for your loss.

In addition to being a Westfield parent, Laura spearheaded the Westfield Outreach Program last year which works to identify and invite to Westfield students from underserved communities. Laura was the perfect person for this role: she cared so deeply for each and every child she worked with and was incredibly committed to making new connections and creating new avenues for children to make their way to us. Laura truly loved and cherished our community and understood its value. Even when she was sick, Laura worked tirelessly leaving no stone unturned in helping children have this opportunity.

To honor Laura’s powerful legacy, it is with great love that I announce the creation of the Laura Conway Palumbo Scholarship to be awarded annually, in loving memory of Laura, to a student from an underserved community who could not otherwise attend to participate in a full-year of Westfield classes. In memory of Laura’s amazing contributions to the homeschooling community, special consideration will be given to applicants who are homeschoolers. But, in keeping with Laura’s unboundaried love of all children, applications from any child from an underserved community will be welcomed.

Dear Laura, you have left an indelible imprint on our hearts. Each year, as we welcome the new Laura Conway Palumbo Scholarship recipient to our community, we will think of you and smile knowing that this will be yet another way that your kindness and love will continue to ripple throughout the world.

Ann Walsh Henderson ,
Executive Director Westfield Academy of Debate, Model UN & Leadership

It breaks my heart, but we have lost a dear member of our baseball family.  Laura was not only a wonderful, intelligent and loving person, but for some reason an ardent supporter of this silly baseball thing we do.

We first met Laura many years ago at a homeschool co-op where she taught kids how to build incredible structures out of just these little 3/4″ x 4 1/2″ wooden blocks. Instilling the notion of, once understanding the principles of how they worked, letting their imagination (and maybe the number of blocks) be the only limitation.

Laura built many things in her too short of a life: a strong and loving marriage with Mike, a warm and nourishing home, a caring and supportive community of friends, and the foundation in her boys that has and will continue to blossom into lives that will be guided by knowledge that she gave and gave access to, and will take them as far as their imagination.

It seems obvious, but also too little, to dedicate this upcoming season in her memory, but we will certainly try to be worthy of her support.

Peace
-Sean/Nails

Our final Open Mic Sing-A-Long in Willimantic was inspired by an amazing person and a pillar of our community. This is her message to us, and our message to all of you!  —Waldron’s Studio 88